With the holiday season just around the corner, parents who haven’t lost their sense of humor get their little ones to write letters to Santa Claus. It’s the perfect way to find out what their mischievous rascals actually want from the jolliest man in the world.
Often, children who still wholeheartedly believe in Santa come up with absolute gems. After struggling to decipher the messy scribbles, parents are left laughing out loud.
AdmiGram.com has picked out the funniest lines from letters to Santa — written by kids who genuinely believe their parents will never find out about their cunning, hilarious, and heartwarming plans.
From Letters to Santa Claus: The Best Santa Has Seen
«…please make Dad’s car break down. Because I really like going to daycare with Amanda and Uncle Oliver. Uncle Oliver’s car is way better!» /Jack, 5 years old/
«…my wish is for you to give Mom a good meat grinder. I really love nuggets, but Mom says our meat grinder can’t handle much meat, which is why we barely have any nuggets.» /Irene, 5 years old/
«…Santa, you didn’t give me anything I asked for last year! If it’s too hard for you to find those gifts, just give me a bunch of money, and I’ll ask Mom to buy them.» /Alex, 6 years old/
«…I want you to give me a phone just like Dad’s. So I can talk into it and everyone will listen to me, just like they do to my dad! Especially Mom! Please!» /Harry, 5 years old/
«…I’ve been good all year, but Mom, Dad, and my annoying sister Barbara have been bad. I’m not lying. Give me a battery-powered train! And punish them to teach them a lesson!» /Jacob, 5 years old/
«…when I grow up, I don’t want to be like my mom and dad! I want to work just like you — only one day a year!» /Charlie, 7 years old/
«…get me a building set, but only come when I’m asleep. Dad didn’t like it last year when you came drunk, and he said we won’t invite a fool like that again. But I really want that building set.» /George, 6 years old/
«…Santa, I know you exist, even though my grandma told me you don’t. You only come at night when everyone is asleep, which is why nobody sees you. Could you take out our trash every night so I don’t have to do it?» /Thomas, 8 years old/
«…I want you to give me lots of chocolates and candy, but make sure Mom and Dad don’t see them. They always hide sweets from me, and I know they eat half of them and lie to me, saying they haven’t touched them.» /Kelly, 5 years old/
«…you don’t have to give me anything, but it would be great if my older sister’s phone finally broke because she’s mean and won’t let me play on it, even though she’s on it all day long.» /Isabella, 5 years old/
«…thank you for giving me a little brother last year! This year I’ve been good too, so please give me a robot that will hit him when he cries, because he doesn’t let me sleep at night!» /Oscar, 5 years old/
«…I really hope this year you’ll finally give me a big fluffy pony! Just so you know, I might get upset and take the money you hide in your bag under the Christmas tree myself!» /Norma, 6 years old/
«…I really want Grandma and Grandpa to finally go back home this Christmas. They snore all the time and really keep me up at night!» /Vivian, 7 years old/
«…I hope this year you’ll give me a gaming console like my friend Michael’s! If you mess up again and give me clothes, I’ll just tell everyone that you’re stupid!» /James, 6 years old/
«…I really want a real racing car as a gift! Mom says you give toy ones because you know that when I grow up, I’ll buy a real one myself. I don’t think you’re as silly as Mom thinks, but you don’t seem to understand that the car can just sit in the garage while I grow up. So give it to me now, got it?» /Liam, 5 years old/
«…I really want those candies with Christmas trees and reindeer that I found in the cupboard behind the flour (I already ate a few so no one would know).» /Mason, 5 years old/
«…give me a big police car and make sure my parents don’t go on vacation. Because Linda will lock me in my room again while she has fun with her friends and lies to Mom and Dad, telling them she didn’t do it.» /Ethan, 5 years old/
«…I really want my Dad to finally get killed in Call of Duty so he can start playing dolls with me.» /Angela, 5 years old/
«…give me a bicycle so all the kids on the block will want to be my friend! And I’ll only let Molly from across the street ride it.» /Dennis, 7 years old/
«…please give me a magic wand so I can make wishes all year round, not just at Christmas!» /Tracy, 5 years old/
