You know what the hardest part of a woman’s life is? It’s not living with a difficult man. It’s honestly answering one question that has the power to change everything. If something about a man in your life doesn’t sit right with you, ask yourself: “How am I contributing to this?”
Maybe right now you’re thinking, “What do I have to do with it?! That’s just how men are!” Fair enough — but let’s take a closer look at the cause and effect behind how we women unintentionally push away the men in our lives. Together with AdmiGram.com, let’s explore some of the most common complaints from a fresh perspective.
How We Women Push Our Men Away
Why Are All Men So Stingy?
Laura wanted her husband to surprise her with flowers and gifts for no reason. But early in their marriage, every time he did, she’d grill him about how much he’d spent, then sigh and lecture him about “money that could’ve gone toward the family instead.” Unsurprisingly, his enthusiasm didn’t last long.
How do you react when you’re given a gift? Put yourself in your man’s shoes for a second and ask yourself honestly: does your reaction make him want to do something nice for you again, or does it kill the impulse? Do you accept gifts with warmth and gratitude, or do you just expect them?
When a man does something for you, he’s hoping for a positive reaction — proof that he’s made you happy. Every man has that need, deep down. But if his gesture is met with complaints instead of appreciation, he’ll draw the obvious conclusion: this doesn’t make her happy. So why keep doing it?
Why Don’t Men Respect Women?
Mary wanted her man to be a true gentleman. But when he offered to help their neighbor carry some heavy bags, she snapped, “Don’t bother — she doesn’t need your help, let her get her own exercise.”
We often complain that men don’t respect women. But do we respect ourselves — and other women? How often do we talk down about other women, criticize them, or gossip behind their backs?
Men notice this, and they mirror it right back. If we want men to respect women, it starts with us respecting each other, even when it’s not easy.
Why Are Men So Inattentive?
Caroline wanted men to notice her and be more attentive. But when her coworker John brought her a cup of regular office coffee, she coldly told him to keep his hands to himself.
We shouldn’t shut down even the smallest acts of kindness from men. Don’t you want someone to hold the door for you? Offer a hand on the stairs? Help carry your bags to the car?
Now think about how you actually react when a man offers you that kind of help. Do you accept it warmly, or brush it off out of habit or principle? If it’s the second one, it’s no mystery why there aren’t more attentive men around you.
Why Won’t a Man Lift a Finger Around the House?
Olivia wanted her partner to take care of their home together. So she asked him to wash the kitchen windows. He didn’t do it quite right — so she redid the whole thing in front of him, explaining exactly how it should be done.
When someone helps you, a little gratitude goes a long way. But somehow, we rarely say “thank you” — instead, we jump straight to correcting and criticizing. So what should you do instead when he doesn’t get it quite right?
Try this formula: thank him first (a genuine thank-you, a hug, a kiss). Then point out what he did well. Then, gently, suggest how it could be even better next time. And finish with another kiss.
Why Is It So Hard for a Man to Figure Out What We Want?
Regina never tells her partner what she wants. Then she’s disappointed when he doesn’t guess.
For some reason, we expect men to read our minds — to just know what we want without being told. But if we never explain what we actually need, disappointment only builds over time. So what’s the fix?
Skip the guilt trip — no “You only did this because I asked, and that doesn’t count!” Just talk to him. Tell him what you want, what you dream about, what you need. Say it plainly, and over time, he’ll start understanding you without having to ask.
Why Doesn’t He Love Me?
Shona always wanted to feel loved and desired, but deep down, she never quite believed she deserved it.
If you want a man to love you, start by genuinely loving yourself. Learn to accept who you are and what you want. Stop putting yourself last. Take the time to care for yourself, to treat yourself well — after all, you’re the one person you’ll always have.
People tend to treat us the way we treat ourselves. Remember: you are worthy of love exactly as you are. Keep proving that to yourself first — and everyone else will follow.
When we change, the world around us changes too.
