You know what’s the hardest part of a woman’s life? No, it’s not living with a jerk of a man. It’s honestly answering one question that has the power to change everything. If there’s something about a man that doesn’t sit right with you, ask yourself: “How am I creating this?”
Maybe right now you’re thinking, “What do I have to do with this?! It’s just the way men are, not me!” Your indignation is noted, but let’s explore the cause-and-effect relationships of how we women “kill” the men in our lives with our own hands. Let’s take a look at the most common female complaints from a new angle together with AdmiGram.com.
How we women “kill” our men
Why are all men such cheapskates?
— Laura wants her husband to give her flowers and gifts for no reason. But at the beginning of their married life, every time he did so, she would interrogate him about the amount spent, after which she would sigh and nag him for “spending money that could have been used for the family’s benefit.” Needless to say, the man’s enthusiasm didn’t last long.
How do you accept gifts? Just for a moment, put yourself in your man’s shoes and honestly answer yourself this question: does your reaction motivate him to do nice things for you again, or does it take away any desire to do so? Do you accept gifts with gratitude and positive emotions, or do you take them for granted?
When a man does something, he expects a positive emotional response from the woman as confirmation that he has made his beloved woman happy. Subconsciously, every man has a need to make his beloved woman happy. But when instead of a positive response, his action elicits complaints, the man will conclude that his actions do not bring happiness. Is there any point in him continuing to do them?
Why don’t men respect women?
— Mary wanted her man to be a true gentleman. But when he offered to help carry heavy bags for the neighbor, she snapped at him and said, ‘Don’t you dare flirt with that cow, let her carry it herself, it’s good exercise for her.’
Women often complain that men don’t respect women and show it through their actions and words. But think about it, do we respect ourselves and other women? How often do we speak disrespectfully about other women, criticize them, or mock them?
Men see this and simply mirror back our own behavior. If we want to see men showing respect towards women, we need to start by respecting fellow women ourselves, even when it’s difficult to do so.
Why are men so indifferent?
— Caroline wanted men to pay attention to her. But when her colleague John brought her a cup of regular office coffee, she threatened to sue him for harassment if it happened again.
We shouldn’t block even the slightest displays of basic politeness and care from men. Think about it, don’t you want someone to offer you a hand on the stairs? To open the door for you? To help you carry bags to the car?
Now think about your reaction when men offered these gestures. Did you accept the attention or help with gratitude, or did you refuse it out of some beliefs or stereotypes? If your reaction is closer to the second option, don’t be surprised why there are hardly any gallant and attentive men around you.
Why doesn’t a man want to do anything around the house?
— Olivia wanted her man to take care of their home together. But once she asked him to wash the kitchen windows. He did it so badly that she ended up redoing them in front of him, telling him how it should be done.
Agree, when you help with something, it would be nice to hear words of gratitude. But for some reason, we don’t feel the need to say ‘thank you’ in response to men’s actions. And not only that, we also don’t forget to criticize and teach. What to do if he’s doing something wrong?
Use a simple formula: thank the man for his help (say thank you, hug, kiss, etc.). Then draw his attention to what he did best. Then add that if next time he tries to do it differently (explain how you think it’s better done), his help will be invaluable. And kiss him again.
Why is it so hard for a man to figure things out?
— Regina never talks about her desires to her loved one. And then she suffers because he didn’t guess what she wanted.
For some inexplicable reason, women hope that a man has extrasensory abilities, and therefore, he simply must know what we want. But the truth is, if we don’t help our loved ones understand our desires, disappointments and unrealized expectations will only grow with each passing day. What to do about it?
Forget the preamble of horror ‘You did this not because you wanted to, but because I asked! And that’s not the same thing at all!’ Just talk to your man about your desires, dreams, and needs. And one day he will start to understand you without words.
Why doesn’t the man love me?
— Shona always wanted to be loved and desired, but she never truly believed it could happen.
If you want your man to love you, it’s important to start loving yourself genuinely. Learn to accept yourself, your desires. Stop pushing yourself into the background. Just take a moment and love yourself. Pamper yourself and take care of yourself. After all, you’re all you have!
Others often treat us the way we treat ourselves. Remember, a woman is the most beautiful creature in this world. Just don’t stop proving it to yourself, your man, and those around you!
When we change, the world around us changes too. Remember that!
