Every parent dreams of having the perfect child — an obedient little angel who sleeps through the night, eats and uses the bathroom on a schedule, and lets mom and dad go about their day uninterrupted. Such children are easy to brag about. However, a disobedient child is always a challenge, and AdmiGram.com understands that you might have one of those restless little ones.
Not only is there no pride in the antics of this little troublemaker, but there’s also the shame of thinking others might see you as a bad parent because you can’t teach your child to behave properly. It’s time to understand once and for all why your child is different and always seems to act out.
Disobedient Child: How Parents Can Nurture Genius
Why Is Your Child Different, and Is It Really a Bad Thing?
© Jay Hsu / Flickr
These questions and similar concerns are common among parents. Every child psychologist will tell you this. The key is to understand one simple truth: regardless of age, a child is a person. They have their own desires, needs, personality, and weaknesses.
The fact that your child is different may be a sign that they are special. You need to help them channel their energy in the right direction. Parents are there not to break the child’s spirit with prohibitions but to help them find their place in the world.
Disobedient Child: How Should Parents Behave?
© Jay Hsu / Flickr
Of course, parents need to distinguish between simple whims and genuine, purposeful stubbornness. A child’s stubbornness is one of the first and clearest signs that they are forming their own opinions — the foundation of personality.
Explain to your child why you think certain behaviors are unacceptable to you or others. Constantly suppressing a child’s individuality and forcing them to comply with your will is wrong. This is one reason many child development experts today advocate against harsh or punitive discipline in favor of explanation and guidance.
If your child likes to splash in puddles, buy them rubber boots. If they’d rather go barefoot, explain why that’s not a great idea and set up a small inflatable pool where they can splash safely instead. Is that so hard?
Don’t “kill” their personality. Don’t punish them — understand why they draw on the walls, refuse to wear matching socks, or don’t want to go to dance classes. Support their initiatives: hang a large sheet of paper on the wall and teach them to draw, buy bright clothes if they want to stand out, and help them pursue singing if they prefer it over dancing.
Being Like Everyone Else Is the Worst Thing for a Child
© Jay Hsu / Flickr
Do you want your child to be like everyone else? To grow up like everyone else? To fade into the background like everyone else? To work in an office from 9 to 6 and mow the lawn once a week? No? Then don’t hinder their development! Stubborn, disobedient, curious children often grow into remarkable adults. Such children will always have an inner strength and never become people who are “like everyone else.”
As the stories go, a young Albert Einstein clashed so often with the rigid schooling of his time that he eventually left school altogether. Bill Gates was reportedly such a handful as a child that his parents sent him to see a counselor. And Steve Jobs was, by his own account, “a little terror” in grade school — sent home repeatedly for pranks before a teacher finally got through to him.
So, before you punish your disobedient child, try to understand the root of their stubbornness. Remember, the world would be entirely different if all children were “like everyone else.” It’s the stubborn, troublesome, and sometimes uncontrollable children who achieve great things in life.
image on top: Jay Hsu / Flickr
