Being a cultured, well-mannered person is an art. Modern etiquette covers everything from the way you speak to basic courtesy, a neat appearance, and the ability to keep your emotions in check. Following these rules matters because a more polite society benefits everyone in it.
AdmiGram.com brings you ten golden rules of modern etiquette that are worth knowing — and living by. Remember: good manners aren’t just a sign of respect for others, they’re a sign of respect for yourself.
10 Golden Rules of Modern Etiquette
Don’t Visit Without Notice
There’s an old saying that an uninvited guest is worse than a natural disaster — and you’ll understand exactly why the moment you have to answer the door with wet hair and a bathrobe on. Nobody likes surprise visitors, even close friends and family. Always give people a heads-up before you show up, so you don’t ruin anyone’s day.
Always Greet First
Whether you’re a student, a woman, or a millionaire, be the one to say hello first. It won’t lower your status — if anything, it will earn you more respect.
Don’t Overdress Like a Christmas Tree
Keep your total number of accessories — jewelry, buttons, everything included — under 13 pieces. The goal is to highlight your natural beauty, not compete with it. As a general rule, the later and more formal the event, the bolder and more expensive your accessories can be. Women have three areas where jewelry belongs: the face, the neck, and the hands. For men, it’s simpler — a wedding ring, cufflinks, and a tie clip are really all you need.
Avoid Talking About These Topics
In polite company, conversations about politics, religion, health, and money are off the table. If these are the topics your friends or acquaintances keep bringing up, it might be worth reconsidering who you spend time with.
Respect Not Only Yourself, But Others
Treat every stranger over the age of 12 with respect. Politeness and tact are what protect you from friction with teenagers, neighbors, coworkers, and everyone else around you. And remember: you can’t expect respect from others until you start treating yourself and them with respect first.
Don’t Get Your Hands Dirty at the Table
At a shared table, the only foods you’re allowed to eat with your hands are bread, sandwiches, canapés, pastries, cookies, asparagus spears, artichoke leaves, and fruit or berries that still have their stems on. Poultry is the one exception — it’s fine to pick it up once it’s no longer practical to keep cutting it with a fork and knife.
Avoid Unnecessary Expenses
If you’re the one who suggests a restaurant, a movie, or the theater, you’re the one who pays. If a woman invites a man out, the same rule applies to her. If it’s more of a casual “let’s go somewhere” with no clear invitation, everyone pays their own way — unless the man offers to cover the woman’s bill and she accepts. If either person plans to pay separately, it’s worth telling the waiter up front so two checks can be prepared.
The Less You Know, the Better You Sleep
Don’t go through your children’s, partner’s, or loved ones’ text messages, letters, or other private correspondence. Snooping through the pockets or belongings of people close to you, looking for something incriminating, is never okay. Whatever’s being hidden will come to light eventually — save your nerves for that moment, because you’ll need them.
Don’t Stoop to Their Level
If someone insults you or tries to put you down, don’t fire back with the same rudeness — rude people get plenty of practice being rude, and you’ll rarely win on their terms. Smile, and calmly walk away instead. If someone is provoking you or the situation is escalating, don’t hesitate to call security or the police. There’s no shame in it, and it’s often the fastest way to put the other person in their place.
Put Down Your Phone
Try not to fill silences with idle chatter on your cell phone. If a conversation is important — whether it’s business, personal, or emotional — have it face-to-face instead of talking someone’s ear off over the phone. And don’t invite someone to meet up or ask them for a favor by text message; it comes across as careless and impersonal.
