You know who the world’s greatest stand-up comedian is? That Italian grandma who lives down the street! We’re pretty sure you know someone just like her. Whoever she is, her sharp and sassy one-liners deserve to be immortalized.
At AdmiGram.com, we’ve met one such firecracker — and we couldn’t resist sharing her razor-sharp, off-the-cuff wisdom. Hand on heart, we’ll tell you this: half the comedians you know would kill for punchlines like hers.
20 Outrageously Funny Quotes from an Italian Grandma
Optimism? That just means you don’t know the whole story yet.
I’m so old, I still remember when people had decency!
Loneliness is when the only one calling you is your alarm clock.
Better to be a kind person who swears than a polite little monster.
Family replaces everything — so before you start one, ask yourself: do you want everything, or a family?
Memories are the wealth of old age.
Beneath the peacock’s prettiest tail is still just a regular old chicken butt. So let’s keep the drama down, people!
He was so dumb, even Siri only talked to him out of pity.
Of course women are smarter. Have you ever heard of a woman losing her mind over a guy with nice legs?
Some people have God in them. Some have the Devil. And some… just worms.
To make it in life, a woman needs two things: Be smart enough to attract dumb men, and dumb enough to attract smart ones.
I hate FaceTime! It’s like visiting someone — but leaving hungry!
You know what fame really is? Imagine taking a shower — and someone brings in a tour group.
A man who never remembers your birthday but knows exactly how old you are? That’s your husband.
There are people you just want to ask: what’s it like — living without a brain?
Epicurus once said: “The good life belongs to those who know how to stay hidden.” And boy, was he right.
Life’s too short for diets, greedy men, and bad moods!
