It doesn’t matter what line you’re stuck in — the supermarket, the airport, the bank. A line is the perfect place to test your sanity and give everyone around you a mild nervous twitch.
If you’re tired of mindlessly scrolling your phone, here are 10 terrible (but extremely funny) ways to entertain yourself. AdmiGram.com guarantees people will try to keep their distance from you — and might even let you go first.
10 Sarcastic Ways to Survive a Boring Line
© Lisanto 李奕良 / Unsplash
Establish “Contact with Space”
Pull a pen from your pocket (or whatever you have on you), raise it high above your head, and freeze. When someone asks what you’re doing, whisper: “Quiet! I’m picking up a signal from the stockroom. They say… the beef on the shelves is in a bad mood today.”
Search for a Biological Threat
Start sniffing the air around you very carefully and suspiciously. Every now and then pause and stare at someone in line with a deeply concerned expression.
Give Your Neighbor a Chance to Confess
Turn to the person next to you, sigh deeply, and say: “You know, I came here just to feel close to other people. Tell me about your greatest fear.”
Play the Secret Product Critic
Examine items in other people’s carts and take notes on your phone. Occasionally shake your head and murmur: “Bold choice… very bold. I’d check my will before cooking that.”
Provide Therapy for Groceries
If you’re in a supermarket, gently stroke the items in your cart and whisper: “Don’t be afraid, little ones. It’ll be over soon. We’ll be home in the fridge before you know it.”
© Meizhi Lang / Unsplash
Talk to Your Hallucinated Friend
Start arguing with the empty space beside you. “No, Arnold, I’m not buying the discount one — it’s a reptilian trap! Stop pressuring me!” If people stare, apologize: “Sorry, Arnold’s just having a rough day.”
Pretend to Be an Aura Expert
Step closer to the person in front of you, squint, and wave your hands around their head. “Hmm… your aura today is the color of expired kefir. You urgently need that snack bar — it’ll restore your chakras.”
Host a Survival Casting Call
Look around at the people nearby and say: “Okay, if we’re stuck here for a week, I say we eat the guy in the blue jacket. He looks pretty high in calories. All in favor?”
Start a “Live” Stream
Take out your phone, grab a loaf of bread or a sausage from your cart, use it as a microphone, and interview people: “Tell us how it feels to be at the epicenter of this historic standstill. What are your life plans after checkout?”
Make a Dramatic Phone Confession
Pretend you’re on a call: “Yes, honey, I’m already in line. No, the kids don’t know I’m contagious. Yes, I’m trying not to cough on the bread so they don’t get sick. Love you!” Enjoy the personal space that suddenly appears around you.
image on top: Jadon Johnson / Unsplash
