Sometimes amazing things happen to us, things that are simply too good not to share. Especially if they are funny and relevant.
Never be late to the movies: a true story
Cozy France. Old Paris. The height of Tom Hardy’s popularity. The premiere of the first Venom movie is happening in theaters worldwide. With popcorn and cola in hand, people slowly begin to fill the cinema. Our childhood cartoon hero, Tom Hardy, and Woody Harrelson — all this for 5 euros on a Friday night after work.
People are gradually taking their seats, eagerly preparing to watch the story about extraterrestrial symbiotic life forms. As the lights dim, previews for upcoming big releases start playing on the screen. Suddenly, something clicks, and the advertisements start playing upside down and backward. The audience, of course, didn’t resist, and sly laughter began to spread through several rows.
But the fun didn’t last long. The movie also started playing from the end and with the picture upside down. Putting popcorn aside, we, along with the rest of the audience, began to grumble in discontent. This torment lasted for about five minutes until, apparently, the security from the cinema called the projectionist. After all, there’s no one sitting behind the projector anymore — everything is automated.
The screen went dark, something clicked again, and the movie began. Some action was already taking place on the screen, and the opening credits were rolling. No one was going to ask to start the movie from the beginning — everyone was already eager for the real action with Tom Hardy. But after a few minutes of watching the long-awaited film, the audience began to squirm suspiciously and shine their phone lights on their tickets.
We didn’t understand right away either. Something was flying and rumbling on the screen, and some guy was sitting in a spaceship. But when we saw Ryan Gosling in a spacesuit, the popcorn practically fell out of our mouths. Stop! It’s not that we’re against Gosling, but where’s Hardy? We, like everyone else, didn’t understand anything. Thoughts raced through our heads: did we mix up the theater or come to the wrong showtime?
After a couple of minutes, someone first realized that we were all watching “First Man” with Ryan Gosling. Another wave of indignation swept through the hall. The first rowdy viewers began to shout: “Give us our money back!”, “Turn off this @#*&#!”, “Are you high or something?” Any expression was fair game. After all, when it’s dark around you, you can shout anything. A hoarse bass voice from the middle started chanting: “Ve-nom! Ve-nom!” Everyone immediately joined in.
The projectionist, fearing that a second French revolution would start right here and now, decided to take urgent measures. The lights came on in the hall, and something started clicking loudly again. Our discontented protest was interrupted by a breathless young couple who literally burst into the hall, horrified to realize they were 20 minutes late. An awkward silence hung in the air. Everyone looked at the couple, feeling a bit of cognitive dissonance.
The couple, clearly embarrassed by the intense attention, broke the silence with a timid voice: “Hasn’t the movie started yet?” To which, in absolute silence, the same hoarse bass from the middle row growled: “No, damn it! We were all waiting just for you!” And then, something clicked again, the lights went out, and Venom started. Amid the hysterical laughter of a hundred people, the couple practically crawled to their seats in the front rows.
They probably never arrived late to anything again in their lives!
